timandfee

I was not really sleeping the nights before D day.  Having been so worried about the date the baby was going to be born, and the name, I was now just hoping that everything would go alright and the baby would be healthy.  Everything else did not matter any more.  The worry was intermingled with excitement thought - was it a boy or a girl??

At 8am we went to the hospital, I had packed my bag the night before and all the grandparents, plus Ailbhe, were here taking care of Alina and awaiting the new arrival.  By 8.05 I was registered and had a room, and by 8.15 I was in the hospital gown and with Tim in a little room off the operating theatre.  I had hoped that Tim would be able to come into the theatre with me, but there was no hope.  This was not Dexeus, and I was not in labor for 2 days!  At 8.30 the mid wife came in -  we had met her before ad felt very comfortable with her.  I was then wheeled into the theatre, nervous as hell kissing tim goodbye.

However once in, things changed;  I saw my doc - the amazing Dr. Damian Dexeus (have I told everyone he is the best gynecologist in the world!!) and met the team.  The anesthetist was lovely, the assisting Doc was Damians old boss and also really nice, and everyone seemed relaxed, in control and happy…yes happy!  I guess it rubbed off on me.  At 8.45 I got the epidural.  And from then on the nerves were gone, it was replaced with just excitement.  I wanted so much to know the sex!  Even my doc did not know it, he had decided not to find out in case I managed to get the information from him, and so he had told everyone in the room that we did not know the sex…something very unusual in Spain.  This meant that when half an hour later they were taking the baby out (at 9.17am), the whole room was looking to see if it was a boy or a girl. Someone said, it´s a “ninito”, just before Damian said in English, “it´s a boy”.  I wont forget the feeling.  I was just awash with happiness.  They held him up, and this purple baby started roaring crying and i knew he was just fine.  By 10am, I was up in my room, with Ailbhe and Tim beside me, my son eating from my boob, and a phone in my hand  spreading the good news.

In the beginning babies look quite wrinkly, and i have to say not the cutest.  I remember what the doc said when they put him on my chest - “he looks like his dad”, and “his skin is Irish!”  Both were true.  But back in my room looking at him, i thought he was also the most perfect baby i had ever seen.  I just could not take my eyes off him.

As for having a cesarean, it was the weirdest thing - I had no pain.  After the last time, it was a god send.  No stress, fast and pain free.  In the days after I was sore, worse then after Alina as they had stitched the muscle wall as well as the opening, but overall it was actually a much more positive experience then i had imagined.  Of course it helped that I trust my doc and he is just fab at making everything feel right.

Mostly though, I will always remember the feeling I had when they said it was a boy. I was not surprised, something i thought i would be if it was a boy.  I was just consumed with happiness.  And I knew it was exactly what was met to be.  Looking at him, I was instantly in love.  And I felt infinitely lucky to have 2 of the most beautiful children in the world.